


"H" Is For Holtzmann

by KillerQueer1996



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Gay Jillian Holtzmann, Gay Sex, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 23:18:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17110043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerQueer1996/pseuds/KillerQueer1996
Summary: You work as a secretary for Mayor Bradley, who still publicly denies the paranormal events that transpired at the Mercado almost a month ago. Despite this, he assigns you to keep an eye on the Ghostbusters. Though you know little about the paranormal sciences, your degree in education has given you an open mind and a unique perspective, allowing you to befriend the "Ghost Girls", and maybe more than befriend the intriguing Dr. Jillian Holtzmann.





	1. A Special Assignment

"Gentlemen, there are absolutely, completely, 100% no ghosts in my city!" echos Mayor Bradley's voice from down the hall. You can't help but shake your head. Sure, ghosts seem a little far fetched, but so do hallucinogenics in the water supply. Besides, it's New York. Weirder things have happened.

And what happened a few weeks ago was definitely weird. It seemed the whole city was still talking about it. No one could recall the same story as anyone else, but everyone agreed - something exceptionally strange had gone down at the Mercado.

You continue your data entry, forgetting about ghosts and instead trying not to die of boredom. "Four years at NYU feels like a vacation compared to this hell," you mumble to yourself. Down the hall a door opens. You hear the mayor laughing awkwardly, no doubt cutting another interview short because he's run out of ridiculous explanations. As the reporters shuffle out, huffing and puffing about not getting any good quotes, the mayor snaps his fingers and you look up.

"You. In my office. Now, please." You silently thank whoever's watching over you for giving you a break from you monotonous day and hurry down the hall to catch up with the mayor. As you speed walk, you wrack your brain for reasons he may want to talk with you. You know it can't be your job performance, you're extremely organized and professional. Maybe he's singling his staff out one by one to interrogate them about the "yogurt incident" that took place the other day. For a man who's been put in charge of a whole city, he unraveled unsettlingly quickly about someone eating the last blueberry Yoplait.

"Have a seat," he says, breaking your train of thought. You sit, and he nods to his assistant to leave the room. The second she's closed the door, he sighs, releasing some of the tension in his shoulders. "You know I think you've been doing wonderful work here, and although finding a temporary replacement for you won't be easy, I've decided to put you on a special assignment."

"Thank you very much, sir," you smile, "and what is the assignment?"

"Well I'm sure you've heard of a little group called the Ghostbusters," he says, his voice doing something weird that you can't quite place. "They've been strangely quiet after their string of publicity stunts, and while I've been enjoying this somewhat peaceful interlude, I need to know that nothing crazy is going on without my knowledge. I've already had Ms. Lynch call Dr. Yates to let her know that I will be sending you over to monitor their daily activities for a while." As excited as you are at the prospect of getting this special assignment, you can't help but feel a little insulted, and a lot confused. "With all do respect sir, the assignment is to babysit four grown women?" you ask.

"I'm afraid it is," he replies, rolling his eyes. "You'll begin first thing tomorrow. Feel free to take off early today to prepare," he says, standing up and ushering you out of his office. As he closes the door behind you, you swear you hear him mumble "...God knows you'll need all the preparation you can get."

* * *

All is quiet at 14 North Moore Street, mainly because today is a "blueprint day" for Dr. Jillian Holtzmann. It's the other ladies favorite day, because it means she'll lock herself on the second floor and work silently for hours. The downside being the day after was usually the loudest, with the mad scientist at maximum crazy trying to build all her new toys, but the ladies take what they can get. As they finish their lunch and head back to their desks, the phone rings.

"Kevin?" Abby calls, setting three dirty dishes down by the sink (Holtzmann doesn't eat on "blueprint day" - she's too busy). "Kevin!" she calls again.

"He out Abby, remember?" Patty shouts from the other room. "He got a hide-and-seek tournament this week, or some other stupid thing..."

"God damn it." Abby walks to the front of the fire house and picks up the phone. "Ghostbusters! Please give a detailed description of your apparition..."

"Hide-and seek huh?" Erin asks Patty, trying to sound casual. "You think they have uniform for that or..."

"Erin..." Patty chuckles and rolls her eyes.

"...or do you think it's like a shirts and skins thing..." Erin trails off, her imagination taking over.

"Erin!" Patty laughs. "Girl, you gotta let him go! There's like a 50/50 chance that dude forget why he's hidin' and never come back!"

"I'm just being supportive!" says Erin defensively.

"Are you kidding me!?" Abby yells from the other room. Erin leans back in her chair to try and get a view of Abby.

"Abby?"

"You've got to be kidding me!"

"Abby?"

"Please, tell me you're kidding me."

"Abby."

"You're not kidding me?"

"Abby!"

Abby stomps around the corner, aggressively points to the phone in her hand, points to Erin, and makes a slitting motion across her throat. Erin rolls her eyes and throws her hands in the air. 

"Okay, yeah, fine. Tomorrow morning, yep, got it." Abby hangs up the phone and lets out an exhausted sigh.

"Well...?" Patty and Erin ask together.

"Well," answers Abby, "that was Jennifer Lynch from the mayor's office. Apparently we've been suspiciously inactive, so he's sending over his secretary to monitor us for the foreseeable future."

"Wait, what?!" Patty screams. "You've gotta be kidding' me! First, we too loud! Then, we too quiet! What the hell that dude want from us, man?!"

"Oh, no!" Erin moans. "Tomorrows the day after "blueprints day"! Holtz's going to tear apart the whole lab! We'll be in trouble for sure!"

"Well, that could work to our advantage," Abby chimes in. "If anyone can send that secretary running for the hills, it's Holtzmann."

"Ain't that the truth!" Patty laughs. "That girl got a gift. A brilliant, terrifying gift." They all burst out laughing. Just at that moment, the door to the second floor bangs open, and a sing-songy voice from the second floor says, "Oh you guyhiiiiiiiiiiiissss..."

"Speak of the devil," mumbles Patty. Dr. Jillian Hotlzmann comes sliding down the brass firemen's pole into the first floor. "Afternoon, ladies!" she exclaims as she tips an imaginary hat. "What's the buzz?"

"The mayor's secretary is going to be visiting tomorrow morning to monitor our work," Erin fills Holtzmann in, "so, we were hoping you'd consider moving your work to the first floor tomorrow."

"We'd love it if you gave her a little show," Abby adds, raising her eyebrow mischievously. Holtzmann leans against the table, and looking over her glasses says slyly, "Hope she doesn't mind a little radiation..." All the ladies start yelling reprimands at Holtzman, trying desperately to halt the speeding vehicle that is a Jillian Hotlzmann train of thought. Amidst the yelling, Holtzmann's crazy laugh stands alone, echoing off the tile walls of the firehouse and out the open window.


	2. "Come Here Often?"

You wake up the next morning to a brighter room than you're used to. You have a brief moment of anxiety, thinking you slept through your alarm, then quickly remember your new assignment. You exhale, relaxing for a minute before a whole new bout of anxiety sweeps over you. Today's the day you meet the Ghostbusters. You spent all night picking out an outfit that's both comfortable and flattering, glad to be rid of pantsuits and pencil skirts for a little while, and researching the fascinating women you were going to be "babysitting". If your education degree taught you anything, it's how to study. And not to toot your own horn, but you're damn good at it.

Finding information about the mysterious Ghostbusters was not as difficult as you thought it would be. Dr. Erin Gilbert had published several papers during her time at Columbia. Not to mention the intriguing book she co-wrote with Dr. Abbey Yates, who had an additional blog dedicated to the paranormal sciences. Patty Tolan was the easiest to find on the internet, with social media accounts publicly available across any and all platforms. The only Ghostbuster you weren't able to find anything about was a small, blonde woman, with crazy hair and yellow-tinted glasses, who often appeared dancing in the background of Patty's social media posts. You only learned her name was "Holtzmann" during one of Abby's info vlogs. A loud bang off-camera followed by smoke and fire alarms caused Abby to hastily end the video, shouting, "Holtzmann!" as a blonde blur in a lab coat ran into view, winked directly at the camera, and ducked quickly away from Abby's grasp.

You can't help but smile to yourself, some of your anxiousness subsiding as you think to yourself this will be...interesting. You quickly shower and get dressed, then a small breakfast and you're out the door. You type the address into your phone, a little silly considering it's only a few blocks away from you, but you'd rather be safe than sorry. In fifteen minutes (your excited-ness made it feel way longer) you arrive at what looks like a firehouse. Double checking the address, you shrug and chuckle, "Of course they study ghosts in a firehouse."

You knock on one of the giant red doors, and almost immediately, it swings open to reveal Abby Yates and Erin Gilbert. They stare at you a moment, then both smile in a, you feel, semi-insincere way. "Welcome," says Abby. "You must be Mayor Bradley's trained seal." Ouch, you think to yourself, but quickly shake it off and extend your hand.

"Dr. Yates, it's really such a pleasure to meet you. I've read both your and Dr. Gilberts work, well most of it, and it really is fascinating." Both Abby and Erin drop their smiles. Both are now staring at you, dumbfounded. "I'm sorry," Erin breaks the silence, "you did what?"

"I, um, read your research?" you answer, giving a little awkward laugh. "I found the T-scale method for correctly identifying a specter's ionization levels and assessing it's potential danger particularly interesting." Both women have dropped their jaws. They stare at you for what feels like forever, before turning to each other and genuinely smiling.

"We're sorry for the cold hello," Abby turns back to you. "The Mayor and us haven't really seen eye-to-eye when it comes to our work, so we all just sort of assumed you'd be...well...a bitch." You laugh, and the two women laugh with you. "We really are sorry," Erin adds, "please come in." You walk through the doors and can't believe your eyes. The walls are covered floor to ceiling in wires, screens, and blinking lights. There are maybe eight full size tables covered in gadgets. You recognize four tan jumpsuits with red stripes and four identical proton packs hung on display. The Ghostbuster's names are scrawled on pieces of tape next to their respective gear. Abby, Erin, Patty...Hotlzmann, you read to yourself. As you read the last name, you inadvertently see Holtzmann's winking face from Abby's vlog and smile. You start to reach out to touch the jumpsuit, but the sound of a door opening snaps you back to reality, and catching yourself before you do anything embarrassing you quickly lower your arm down to your side.

"So you the secretary, huh?" Patty asks as she enters the room. She positions herself so she's looming over you. You can't help but feel a little scared, but quickly say, "Yep, that's me..." Patty takes a step back, but keeps staring you down. Wow, these girls must really hate the Mayor, you think. "...and this is a little random, but I just wanted to say that you're style is really cool. I'll admit, I follow you on Instagram, and I've always wanted to know where you get your clothes and jewelry." Patty's still staring at you, but her face has gone from bad-ass-bitch to straight up confused. "You're hair is always really, cool too," you add. "I always say, life's too short not to have fun hair!" Instantly, Patty does a full 180 and smiles, reaching out and grabbing you by the shoulders, pulling you into her and shaking you.

"This chick gets it!" she laughs, and turns to you proclaiming, "You alright by me, man!" After another hour or so of exchanging life stories, the three women start showing you around. The tour consists partly of Erin and Abby arguing over the many uses of certain technology and partly of Patty's side comments about how heavy or uncomfortable using certain equipment is. However, the majority of the tour is Abby pointing to something and simply stating, "That's Holtzmann's. If you want to live, don't touch it." When am I going to get to finally meet this elusive woman? you think to yourself, when a slim but strong arm wraps around your waist.

"Come here often?" a voice asks. Your heart skips a beat, and you're not sure why. The voice is soft and deep and calm and...something you can't quite put an adjective too. Maybe smooth? You're not sure.

"Easy Hotlzmann," Abby warns, as Holtzmann spins you around to face her. Her hand now on the small of your back, she smiles and says, "Dr. Jillian Holtzmann." You feel numb. All you see are a pair of electric blue eyes that seem to be staring into your soul, like she's attempting to decode you. "Um, hi..." is all you manage to get out. Intelligent response, dumb ass, you think to yourself. She winks, and just like that she's across the room, tinkering with something you're pretty sure Abby told you would make your fingers fall off.

"Well that's everything!" says Erin. You shake your head and return to the present, smiling. "Well, everything except the second floor, but that's Holtz's," she adds. "We really don't know what she does up there, and we really have no interest in finding out." She shoots Holtzmann a look. Holtzmann looks up from her project to make a weird smile with her tongue between her teeth, then retreats back into her work.

"Besides," Abby chimes in, "I'm pretty sure she's got a cat up there even though I'm highly allergic." Holtzmann points a screwdriver in Abby's direction. "You have no proof of that!" she declares. Abbey rolls her eyes and offers you some coffee, so you, Abby, Patty, and Erin make your way to the kitchen. As you leave, you swear you hear Holtzmann say, "See you later, hot stuff," but when you turn around she's face down in her work. Interesting, indeed... you think, and join the other Ghostbusters.


End file.
